I Got Hit Over the Head with This One

I'm not a big exerciser.  Never have been.  Most of my adult life I've gone through spurts of gym memberships, tried running, did the home videos, tried the latest and greatest diet fad, Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, shakes, blah, blah, blah.  In the end what works best for me is watching what I eat, I love to get out and walk in the warmer weather, and about six months or so ago I started a form of yoga called, Let Your Yoga Dance.  It's a very low impact form or exercise that incorporates yoga with free-form movement and dance to songs of every genre.  Each class ends with a guided meditation, or savasana for you yogis.  

Not going to lie, there's certain level of cheesiness to each class but if you push your inhibitions aside and just go with the purpose of having fun and getting moving, then it's a great form of exercise.  And, in my opinion everyone needs a healthy dose of cheesiness every so often.

So, last night I was making dinner before class (wild rice chicken soup for those interested) and while standing over the stove, stirring the soup, I haphazardly asked God for a sign during class that all is ok with our little one.  I went about my cooking and when finished I got in the car and drove to yoga.  It was the first class of a new series so I had to fill out the health form.  I told my instructor that I was expecting and after he hugged me I gave him a brief synopsis of where we are with things, just so he knew.  
 
Class proceeded as it normally does; stretching, yoga poses, dancing, repeat.... As class was winding down our teacher instructed us to find a comfortable place to sit down and listen to what he was going to read.  Afterwards, music would start to play and we were invited to get up when we wanted to and move to the music.  As I sat, this is what I heard him read -

A little baby told God

Hay I’m kinda scared, don’t really know if

I wanna go down there.

Because from here it looks like a little blue ball

But that’s a great big place and I’m so small.

Why can’t I just stay here with you?

Did I make you mad, don’t you want me, too?

And God say, ‘Oh child, of course I do.

But there’s somebody special that’s waiting for you.’

So hush now baby don’t you cry

Cuz there’s someone down there waiting who’s only goal in life

Is making sure you’re always going to be alright.

A loving angel tender tough and strong

It’s almost time to go and meet your mom.

Now when she’s talking to you

Make sure you listen close

Cause she’s gonna teach everything you’ll ever need to know.

Like how to mind your manners to love and laugh and dream.

And she’ll put you on the path that’ll bring you back to me.

So hush now baby don’t you cry.

Cuz there’s someone down there waiting who’s only goal in life

Is making sure you’re always going to be alright.

A loving angel tender tough and strong

Come on child it’s time to meet your mom.

As you can imagine I was a bawling mess of a momma at the end.  As the song began to play I realized it was the same words set to music.  I couldn't bring myself to get up and dance so I just sat there and hugged my belly knowing there's a chance it might be one of the last time I get to hug our little one but praying it was the first of many, many hugs to come.  My teacher came over to me, hugged me and whispered that he planned this class before knowing anything about my situation.  In other words, this experience was meant to be.  God was talking to me.    

After class, I asked my teacher who sang the song and he said it's one of Garth Brooks' new songs titled, Mom.  (Oh, that Garth Brooks) I also mentioned to him that before class I asked God to give me some sign that all is ok with our little love bug to which he laughed and said, "Well if this isn't it, I don't know what is!" I also thanked God for hearing me and making his answer so clear.  I almost felt like he was saying, "Girl, how many signs do you need?  I've been giving them to you all week.  Sheesh....Take head, know I hear you, and you all are ok."   

On my way home I pulled up this performance of the song and listened to it over and over; and cried and cried.  It was such a special moment for me and it's very hard to describe the emotional impact it had.  I'm just grateful I was able to experience it and have that time with my baby.  

We've been getting a variety of signs all week that all is well and we'll know for sure tomorrow; but I'd be remiss if I didn't say I'm still not 100% convinced and I hope God understands that.  I'll need to be somewhat guarded tomorrow as we go in there so if we get not great news I'll be somewhat prepared.  However, I've spent most of my week in the middle of all is well/all is not well.  After last night, I'm 75% towards all is well.  And I don't think anyone can fault me for that.