It evolved somewhat last year when my mom was going through some major medical issues (hello, colon cancer) and I spent much of 2014 in and out of our local hospitals. Since then, any sort of medical thing seems to bring on feelings on anxiety. Thankfully, I've only had two major anxiety attacks; one when I was in the elevator and the other was when hubby and I were going to get on the turnpike. I freaked out and made him turn around before we got on. That was a horrible day....
I got to the point where, after talking with my doctor, I was prescribed a small dose of anti-anxiety medicine and I have a therapist who I check in with periodically. I've been able to manage things pretty well but every so often the anxiety gets a one-up on me.
Anyway, the last few days I've been having some funny feelings in the right side of my mouth and being the anxious worrywart that I am I immediately think I am in need of a root canal, or to have all my wisdom teeth pulled, or something worse. I was so worried about it I called my dentist office yesterday and asked them to move my my cleaning from the end of the month to whatever they have available.
"Thursday at 2:00pm?"
"Yes, please!"
OF COURSE, my mouth feels better today but I'm somewhat relieved to be getting in their earlier to get my teeth cleaned and checked out - not to mention getting it over with. However, I'm also nervous. My anxiety was pretty high about six months ago (my last dental visit) when I was having a cavity filled. Out of no where I had a minor anxiety attack. I had a hole in my tooth and they were at the point where they were putting those little clippy things in to do God only knows what. I had to have them stop and I was soo scared of not being able to let them finish. Fortunately, I have a wonderful dentist who gave me all the time I needed, didn't leave me alone, allowed me to breathe through it to the point I calmed myself down enough that he was able to finish. Part of me is afraid that's going to happen again.
In addition, hubby and I have what we hope will be our final appointment tomorrow with our OB to make sure I've expelled everything (prayers appreciated). Shouldn't be any surprise that I'm worried I haven't and then who knows what will need to happen. I passed the sac, the bleeding has lessened - although not gone completely - I've no cramping, no fever, and no foul smell to denote an infection, but I still worry.
So, with these two things hanging over my head I've let my emotions get the better of me and have had a rough few days. I've not laid in bed, don't get me wrong. I've gotten up, gone to work, put in an honest day's work, gone to rehearsal, been productive at home, laughed, smiled, and interacted with my peers, etc. It mostly hits me at night before I got to bed. Thankfully, hubby's been there to listen, ease my fears, and tell me that all with be ok, and I know it will be.
I got this for my birthday and wear it everyday. It's as true for me as it is for you.
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