It's been almost seven months since I got released from my OB/GYN with the news I had successfully miscarried, a plan to wait two cycles before trying, and a recommendation to come back in August if I wasn't pregnant. Well, here we are and no bun in the oven...yet.
My cycles have become somewhat erratic fluctuating anywhere from 28 days to 45 days; talk about frustrating. I found myself becoming that woman - the one who tracks everything about her cycle, Googles the latest fads promising to increase fertility (I'm looking at you, Geritol), and having sex every two-three days even when I just wasn't feeling it because what if that's the magic time. I became that woman and I hated it.
I did check in with my doctor earlier this month and she put my mind at ease. I went in armed with all kinds of questions in addition to a calendar of my crazy cycles. Come to find out my doctor's not worried and not even remotely ready to start doing anything exploratory or talk about possible issues. Also, and this is why I LOVE my doctor, she told me not to be concerned about my age (35 is right around the corner) and that she doesn't start seeing an increase of issues until the mom hits 39. Phew....four more years. Plus, she reiterated that my body did go through some trauma and that it's not unusual for a woman to take about six months for her body to get back on track with things and THEN from that point it could very well take another six to eight months to conceive. Patience is not a virtue I hold in abundance; however, I did take solace in those words and left with a new plan of continuing as is and we'll reconvene in December. If, at that point, no bun is baking, we'll move to the exploratory steps. Hopefully, that won't happen.
I've decided to stop being all crazy-pants with tracking and am going to just keep an eye on Aunt Flo and when hubby and I, you know....I think - know - that will be less stressful for me, will put the fun back in things, and I'll stop obsessing over and Googling every little twinge, cramp, feeling, and sign hoping it's an early pregnancy symptom.
At some point we'll get pregnant again, I truly feel that in my heart. It'll happen when it's supposed to and not a moment earlier...and I'm choosing to be ok with that.
